California Love and a Brief, Momentary Existential Crisis

I’m back in Florence now after a fantastic visit home to California.  It had been nearly a year since I was there.  That is definitely the longest I have ever gone without a visit home and I was really missing it.  It went too quickly, as always, and I ran out of time before I got to see all the people that I wanted to see and go to all the places that I had planned on visiting.  However, I did eat a lot of tacos, so that’s good.


Tacos, I love you.

I had one of those moments at home where I freaked out a little bit about our world not being technologically advanced enough, to the point where I could clone myself (I know I have a twin, hardy-har-har, that’s not what I mean) so I can be in two places at once. When I was a kid, I really thought that by 2014 the world would be more like the Jetsons.  Anytime I wanted to go somewhere, I would just jump in an intergalactic tube and be there in like 3 seconds, and I would have a robot maid named Rosie. While I was at Baker Beach one day, I had a brief moment of trying to re-think and re-organize my life so that I could either: (1) convince Keith to drop everything he had accomplished in his whole life to come live with me in CA, or (2) become extremely rich in order to buy myself tickets to come home on a bi-monthly basis.  After a few strong Bloody Mary’s I realized that my life was on a good track right now and I may as well just go with the flow rather than trying to change things too drastically.  I mean, I’m still young.  I’m only 18, 25, 32.  Anything can happen.  Nothing is ever completely ruled out.


View of the Golden Gate Bridge from Baker Beach, San Francisco. Ain’t nothin’ like it.

I really love living in Europe and I know that it suits me well.  I know that I am extremely fortunate and I am engaged to my best friend and the love of my life and living in Europe is part and parcel of sharing my life with this crazy guy.  But goddamnit, this can be so effing hard sometimes.  If only I could split myself in two and be in both places at once. Why can’t flights be shorter and less expensive? Why can’t Europe be closer to California?  Why is it so cold everywhere else but the weather is nothing short of amazing (and freaky) in California, making it so much more difficult to leave?  Homesickness.  Doesn’t matter where in the world I am, I have it.  If I am in California, I miss Europe.  If I am in Europe, I miss California.  I guess we are just never satisfied.  Then again, I am extremely lucky.  I have homes in two amazing places and so much love and happiness, that it just doesn’t all fit into one place geographically.  Gotta spread it around, you know? 😉

Anyway, below are some pictures from my sunshine-filled month in California.  I would have more photos, but like a complete dumbass I dropped my phone one day like 5 times in a row and broke it.  So I had to get it replaced and I lost a lot of pictures.  Thank goodness for the iCloud.


My bro Mauricio, My twin sister Paula, Dad, Mom and me. The Ageno Wolfpack.


The WolfPack is growing! We’re comin’ for you!


Went through some old photo abums while I was home and I found this one of these movie stars from the 1970’s. Oh wait, no, those are my parents. Easy to get them confused 🙂


I spent most of my time with these two little precious maniacs. Love them.

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  • Reply
    Jace Gifford
    January 29, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Nice post, Bea! You sum up some of the issues that arise from having a life split across two (or more) continents.

  • Reply
    January 31, 2014 at 4:34 am

    I can’t relate, but can totally understand the feeling of homesick, but you really do have the best of both worlds. I bet if you came back you’d miss the pace of Europe (which is so much better). You’ve probably actually LIVED so much more being in Europe than you ever would have here. Keep rockin it Bea! You are right where you should be 🙂 xoxo to you and Keith.

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